Laurentian Valley

Kimberley Laws

As many of you know, I recently brought Howdy, Neighbour to the Petawawa Showcase. While there, a few of you asked if I had done an interview myself. I had one waiting in the wings, but thought that now was the perfect time to unleash it upon the unsuspecting public.

Let’s welcome our neighbour, Kimberley Laws.

Hi, Kimberley! Tell us a bit about yourself.

Hi! My name is Kimberley Laws, but my friends call me “Kim.”

When people ask me where I’m from, I struggle to come up with an answer. My dad was a banker, and when I was growing up, we moved more than the military. Much more.

I spent the most time in Ottawa, so I call that my hometown. But I also spent my high school years in Smiths Falls, so that is my “other hometown.” The need for constant change seeped into my DNA, sparking many moves in my twenties as well. By the time I was thirty, I had moved about thirty times. I settled in the Petawawa area in 1997 and have been here ever since.

Choosing a career path has consistently proven a challenge for me as well. I’ve always been an “experience collector,” wanting to try everything once. I started out in graphic design at Sheridan and later switched to fashion merchandising at St. Lawrence. I trained as a cosmetician and studied makeup artistry in Manhattan. In my 30s, I completed my English degree, and at 40, I graduated from the University of Ottawa with my Bachelor of Education. But none of those careers seemed to stick.

I accumulated work experiences like some people collect fridge magnets. I worked as a debt collector, English teacher, purveyor of books and clothing, makeup artist, loans officer, cosmetics counter manager, accounts receivable, Planter’s Peanut, and, ironically enough, career counsellor. I have been blessed with many amazing opportunities over the years and am thankful for this eclectic collection of experiences.

Thankfully, I have finally settled down. I’ve been married to my wonderful hubby, Mike, for over 25 years. About 14 years ago, I found a role that provides the freedom and variety that I crave. I am a freelance writer and have worked with several websites in the food, entertainment, and career industries. And, yes, I have lived in the same house since 1999.

I enjoy scrapbooking, and I participate in several scrapbooking fundraisers every year. I also love drawing, reading, cooking, and swimming. Over the years, I have volunteered at my church in several capacities, worked with the Christmas Angels, organized trivia night fundraisers, helped with the Petawawa Library’s book sale, and served on the Daily Observer’s Community Editorial team.

I love the Upper Ottawa Valley. It’s a beautiful place, and its strongest selling feature is its people. This is why I decided to start Howdy, Neighbour. I see it as a great way for each of us to forge stronger connections, meet new people, and have fun together.

Do you have any phobias? What are they?

I have three phobias. The first is dolls. Evil, soulless things. I have hated them ever since I can remember. As a kid, the only one I tolerated was “Baby Alive,” and that was solely because she pooped. Once that novelty wore off, I lost track of her. Stuffies, however, are awesome, and I have a rather… um… large collection of them.

Clowns are also horrifying. Seriously. Oversized feet. Noses that honk. And creepy makeup. And no one can figure out how twenty clowns fit into a Mini Cooper.

Lastly, is my strangest phobia of all. El Caminos. Yes, Chevrolet’s “car that thinks it’s a truck” has freaked me out since my earliest memories. I can pick up snakes, but don’t ask me to walk past a resting El Camino.

If you could start a whole new career path, what would you be?

A puppeteer. I seem to have a gift for bringing inanimate objects to life. Seriously, if I could go through life with a puppet on my hand, I’d be the happiest person you’ve ever met. I have a good collection of puppets, but I dream of making my own. I think he’d be modelled after Sesame Street’s Bert. Jim Henson is the celebrity I most admire, and working on Sesame Street or The Muppets has always been my dream.

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

I would love to go to Italy, Ireland, and the Holy Land. I’ve wanted to see Italy since I was little (likely after I developed a childhood crush on Al Pacino in The Godfather), and my Irish half wants to explore my Cork roots. I’d love to visit the Holy Land to walk where Jesus walked, see biblical locations, experience the Middle Eastern culture, and enjoy their food. Mm… the food.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?

A mud puddle. It was not intentional. As a teen, I was on the sidewalk talking. (I am usually talking). I must have been mid-sentence, as my mouth was open. A vehicle went by, hit a massive puddle, and I wound up with a mouthful of road water.

Who is the best-known celebrity you have ever seen in person?

Outside of the usual concerts and comedy tours, I have met a few interesting famous people. I spoke with and sat directly behind Stephen Harper and his wife before he became Prime Minister. I saw Princess Diana at the World Exchange Centre in Ottawa.

I ran into the actor who played John Abbott on The Young and the Restless on the street and had a great conversation with him.

I came very, very close to rear-ending the limousine carrying the New Kids On The Block to their concert venue. Seriously, I was mere inches away from becoming a tabloid headline.

We were about five feet away from Rachel McAdams following a filming session for Morning Glory in NYC. We saw Christopher Reeve filming Somewhere In Time on Mackinac Island. And, years ago, Conan O’Brien walked past me to go to the elevator at Rockefeller Center.

What was the worst style choice you ever made?

I was a teenager in the ‘80s, so pretty much all of my style choices were questionable. I had backcombed, spiky Tina Turner hair, a Knot’s Landing-inspired girl mullet, and a giant red afro. My earrings were so huge, I had to have plastic surgery on my right ear to repair a rip. And who can forget those frilly, poofy blouses that we paired with very tight Andre Michel jeans? What we lacked in fashion sense, we made up for in bravery.

Are you a cat or a dog person? Why?

I like both, but I am severely allergic to cats. They reduce me to a wheezing, itching, leaking pile of snot. Since I have an affinity for breathing, I’ll have to say I prefer dogs.

What is your most useless talent?

Most of my talents are somewhat useless. I can inhale my nostrils shut. I can recite the US state names in alphabetical order very quickly. And I have very dexterous toes. Seriously, I can pick up dimes with these things.

I can also speak fluent Ubbi Dubbi. (The secret language from the 70s kids’ show, Zoom).

If you could only shop at one store for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

This is hard, as most stores now only deal in one type of product.

Ideally, I’d like to travel back through time and shop at an Eaton’s Department store. Three floors of cosmetics, clothing, appliances, and furnishings all in one place. Their Christmas shop was amazing, and the restaurant was good too.

If you were an Olympian, which sport would you compete in?

Definitely swimming, but not the front crawl. The head movement makes me dizzy. I’d like to do a back stroke or side stroke. Or a water-treading competition. I absolutely LOVE being in the water, and the whiff of chlorine is among my favourite smells.

What do you miss the most about being a kid?

I miss large family gatherings with my grandparents. I miss my childhood pets. And I miss my parents being in good health.

Plus, there’s something about childhood friendships. Experiencing early milestones together creates a special bond.

I also miss the feeling of being a kid. The carefreeness, making new discoveries, and believing in a “the sky is the limit” future. It was a time when my biggest fear was liver for dinner.

If you could hang out with any cartoon character, who would you choose and why?

I love Mickey Mouse’s voice and could listen to him talk for hours, but I’d have to go with Snoopy. We could write novels together, decorate his doghouse for Christmas, and he could teach me how to fly a plane. I may even learn how to understand Charlie Brown’s teacher.

I think life with Snoopy and Woodstock would be great fun.  

Thanks for sharing with us, neighbour Kimberley.

If you enjoyed our chat with Kimberley Laws, you may want to subscribe below and meet a new neighbour from the Upper Ottawa Valley every week.

Next week, we will welcome Jess Levesque.